Wednesday, February 8, 2012

First Spanking

The very first time Ada climbed the dishwasher, around 9 months old.  This was back when she had just started learning how to climb on things, and it was really cute and surprising to see here there.

The last few months Ada has started demonstrating her own will.  I'm so glad that she's confident to try new things, take risks, and explore on her own.  With this new found will, she is also discovering her limits, boundaries, and rules of the house.

Yesterday was her first spanking.  It was hard on me. SO hard!   Here's how it went down:

I was unloading the dishwasher and she climbed up onto the door of the dishwasher.  (I let her do this when she first started climbing and weighed much less).
I told her "No climbing on the dishwasher" and put her on the floor.
Then she made another attempt to climb up and I said "No, no Ada. No climbing the dishwasher" and I put her feet on the ground.
She started to climb again, so I took her away from the dishwasher, and spanked her big chubby thigh.
She wailed and bawled, and buried her face on the linoleum floor. And I felt like doing the same thing! It's still very hard for me to hear her cry.
After she got past the long wails and was more in the sniffling stage, I comforted her and said "No climbing the dishwasher"
But she attempted to climb on the dishwasher for the third time!
So, one more firm smack to the thigh. I really didn't want to go through with it again, but knew it was necessary.
Tears, sniffles, and then hugs.
And this time, she obeyed me! She continued to "help" me by rolling the racks in and out, and opening and closing the detergent door.  But she never climbed the dishwasher door again.

Today, I was unloading the dishwasher, and I was thinking to myself "Wow, why does this feel so easy right now?" And then I looked down and realized, that Ada had LEARNED to not climb the dishwasher!  She was definitely still "helping" me, but the disciplining the day before had worked!

I wish I was more prepared for this stage of discipline.  I wish I had started reading books about parenting 3 months ago, rather than just starting to now.  Right now Chris and I are only guided by what our friends are doing and our instincts, and we may be doing things completely wrong! But the spank worked for this one thing this one time.  And it was hard on both me and Ada, but we're over it (were over it really quickly actually), and unloading the dishwasher is much smoother now.

Two books fellow moms have recommended to me are "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp and "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk.  I just got "Shepherding a Child's Heart" from the library today and am excited to start reading it.

On an unrelated note, our long time friend and brother Ben Yu came all the way from Lanzhou, China to visit us!  It was Ada's first time to meet him!  It was so unbelievable seeing him again that it felt like we had dreamed it.  Thanks for coming Ben!




3 comments:

  1. Hey I'm glad it worked for you! Just one thing I learned in my reading about toddlers. You will have to repeat the rule multiple times because they will forget from one day to the next. So if in a few days she does it again she probably forgot and will need a reminder of the rule. After hearing it enough times she'll remember and it shouldn't be an issue anymore, unless it's a bad day :)

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  2. We have starting giving Kendall little spanks for certain activities also. I hate it too! But she does learn from them and follows those rules very well now. We've only had to spank her a handful of times for different things, but now we just have to mention spank and she listens. Threatening a spanking is so much nicer than having to go through with one! :)

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